Have you ever experienced a situation when you were afraid or uncomfortable around the people surrounding you? Have you ever been
hesitant to speak to someone or even speak up for yourself because you were
afraid that you would say or do the wrong thing? Do your palms get
sweaty, the heart starts pounding, or you get a sick feeling in the pit of your
stomach when you have to be in the spotlight even for a few minutes? If
the answer is yes, then you have experienced shyness at some point in your life,
as most people have. While it may take some practice, it is really not
all that difficult to conquer.
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Have you ever labeled
yourself as a shy person? When you’re at a social event, do you find it’s hard
to mingle with people? Do you find yourself at the refreshment station, trying
to look nonchalant? There is a reason for your shyness, but the most important
thing is to find ways to combat shyness, so you can be the person you were
meant to be.
There are two kinds of shy
people: the introverts and the extroverts. Yeah, believe it or not, an extrovert can feel
shy too. They both feel shy, but they react differently and their reasons for
shyness is different.
As an introvert, if you want to know how
to overcome shyness, check out your feelings. You feel insecure about yourself.
You feel that everybody is looking at you and that you just don’t measure up to
their expectations. You feel like you never say the right thing and that when
you do talk, nobody is listening. A shy introvert is afraid of being in group
situations because they just don’t know what they’re supposed to do and say in
that group. They find themselves sitting or standing away from the group and
becoming a wall-flower.
As an extrovert, you love being with other people but you feel
nervous inside every time you talk or do something that gets everyone’s
attention. You want to be cool, but inside you feel like a nerd. Sometimes
you’re louder than most people and try to clown around with everyone as a way
to get everyone to laugh and enjoy your company, but deep down inside you just
want to be able to relax.
If you want to know how to overcome shyness, you need to take
steps very first with yourself to overcome the fear that you feel. One way is
to meditate and use some self-talk recordings. You can buy some meditation CDs
that help you give yourself good, positive self-talk or you can record your own
positive feedback recording. Don’t say negative things to yourself. If you
catch yourself doing that, stop. Start being kind to yourself.
Here are a few steps that will explain how to
overcome shyness.
According to the Shyness research institute, shyness can be found
in introverted as well as extroverted people. It is caused by the
following three things:
§ Excessive
Self-Consciousness – Where you are extremely aware of yourself, especially in
various social situations.
§ Excessive
Negative Self-Evaluation – Where you view yourself in a negative light.
§ Excessive
Negative Pre-Occupation – Where you tend to concentrate on the things that you
are doing wrong when you are with other people.
Understanding where your mind is when you are experiencing shyness
is the first step to understanding how to overcome shyness. Knowing what
triggers these feelings in you will help you to anticipate them and learn
coping mechanisms to get through them.
The second step in how to overcome your shyness is to turn your
self-consciousness into self-awareness. Although this may sound like the
statement above, it is not. Having an understanding that people are not
looking at you or paying attention to the things that you feel that you are
doing, should help to put your mind at ease.
The third step in how to overcome your shyness is to celebrate
your strengths. Know what you are good at and practice being good at
it. We all have strengths, and while some people are not social
butterflies they have talents that cause other people to seek them out.
Unfortunately, social situations are a way of life but being comfortable in
them requires a little bit more practice for some people than others.
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